i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize