Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
