i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
