Got a toothbrush?
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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