oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
