I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
