Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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