Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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