I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Bring me that man meat
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
