I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize