I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
my liver is dry heaving
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
