sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
