I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
