Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
