Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
