where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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