I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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