"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
