it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
