Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
