Apparently you make a good broom.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize