I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You need a sexual gate keeper
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
