I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
