I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
