thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
