dude i'm inner monologue high
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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