You made me cry and you don't even care
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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