just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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