my sisters under your porch take her home
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
