She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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