They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
