On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
