I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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