I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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