Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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