Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
