O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
