college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
