I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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