When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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