Sry I called you an 8
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
