:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
