If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
