piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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