either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
