lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
