I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
