Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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