well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
