You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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