Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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