? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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