we have pet lesbian snakes
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
