We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
