I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
