direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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