I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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