I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize