So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
