Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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