you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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