I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
