I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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