I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Randomize
