hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize