Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
