I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
