Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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