Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
