Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
