i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
