Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
